Stand Up For Yourself – Be “Brave” – MHAM Blog Challenge Day 21

June 21st prompt: “Brave:” Watch the video below of Sara Barielles’ “Brave” and listen to the lyrics. Then tell us how standing up for ourselves gives us hope.

Okay, I want to tell you that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this song! It’s been one of my favourites for a long time, but I’d never seen the video before; awesome video!

For this post I’m focusing on the stanza below:

And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good,
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

We have all at one time been the brunt of harsh, unkind, words. When they come from our immediate family, we tend to stand up for ourselves. But when they come from acquaintances, co-workers, employers, doctors, sometimes even friends…we take it and then go home, cry and rant about it; even seethe over it for days, weeks months even years…allowing it to cripple us. Why? Why don’t we speak out?

As migraineurs or chronically ill fighters, we face a lot of criticism. People, most times unknowingly, hurt us as they try to “encourage” us for “our own good”. Often times their ignorance and/or their inability to sympathize, much less empathize, results in them judging, berating and plain just breaking our hearts. To help them understand us, understand what we’re going through, we must stand up for ourselves. We have to let them know how we feel and in some cases educate them. How?

I do think it’s possible to address unkindness with tact and diplomacy. I also think there are times when we can and should just let things go. However, when things stab us so deeply that we’re adversely affected by it, we should speak up.

How? I don’t suggest saying the first thing that comes to mind if your brain is like mine. My tongue lashes like a sword when I’m hurt. My husband on the other hand, was born with the ability to be diplomatic on the spot. If you’re like him, “Say what you wanna say, And let the words fall out”. If you’re like me. Pause, let the person know in a tactful way that you’re gathering your thoughts, properly arrange what you have to say and then let um have it…just kidding; properly arrange your thoughts and politely let them know how they made you feel. For some writing a letter may be best.

How do we benefit from this? When we hold things in and allow them to fester, we hurt ourselves emotionally and physically. When our hearts are heavy and we feel worthless, and/or like burdens, it’s very difficult to hope. However, when we consistently speak out, those around us become informed about our disease, our needs and our emotional makeup. They learn what to say and how to say it. They’ll even begin to protect us from those who are uninformed. As one wise man once said, “There is a frustrating of plans where there is no confidential talk…” – Proverbs 15:22a

So I encourage you, as I encourage myself:

“Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave”

– Skylar

“The Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is organized by the:
American Headache and Migraine Association.”

Featured image: photo credit: Ed Yourdon via photopin cc

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4 thoughts on “Stand Up For Yourself – Be “Brave” – MHAM Blog Challenge Day 21

  1. Pingback: Weekly Welcome | MigrainePuzzlePieces

  2. I love the song!

    10 years ago, in the school where I was doing my teacher training practice a teacher once reproached me for calling in sick. She was of the, you know, bossy, always-right-kind, and she told me: “When I have a migraine, I simply come to school and teach.” Those words exploded inside me, and I still carry that stupid remark with me to this day. I was so hurt I couldn´t reply. But of course I should´ve told her: “1. not every headache is a migraine, and 2. when I have migraines, I can´t see. I can´t talk. I can´t feel my hands. Try teaching when your brain is incapable of forming words and you can´t use your hands for sign language. Good luck with that.” *sigh*

    I guess that´s the advantage of a bad experience: it gives you an idea of the complete lack of empathy some people have, so next time you won´t be taken by surprise. Ever since I´ve been very meticulous in explaining people what happens when I have a migraine, and I´ve noticed that has helped a great deal. And diplomacy is indeed a very valuable ally in getting the message across.

    • Isn’t it a great song!!! When I hear it I always feel inspired.

      I try to do the same, explaining to people I mean, but like you I’ve bitten my tongue one too many times. As I mentioned in the post, my first response isn’t always nice so I bottle it up. Hubby told me to start by saying like, “I know you’re trying to help and I appreciate that, but what you said really hurt me.” Says that while I’m saying that, I can begin formulating what I’ll say next. I haven’t had an opportunity to use it yet thank goodness. But I’m prepared :).

  3. Pingback: MHAM 2015 Blog Challenge Posts 1-30 | MigrainePuzzlePieces

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